All Are Democrats, But Some More than Others
The secretary for Iran’s National Security Council Saeed Jalili recently said that “Every country has its own way for attaining democracy.” This assertion is of course correct to a large extent. For example take the criticism that a journalist, an intellectual or a political personality raises regarding the views of a president. He will be treated differently based on the democracy that he lives in.
Democracy in Uzbekistan. The dissident is arrested and then a democratic vote is taken among the ten interrogators from the security agency. Nine democratically vote against the arrested dissident. The tenth interrogator who did not vote against the dissident is then democratically boiled in water.
Democracy in Cuba. Supporters of Fidel and Raul Castro organize a one million man democratic demonstration against a dissident and call for the punishment of the American spies. But they fail to find him because he disappeared thirty minutes after criticizing Fidel Castro and there remains no trace of his whereabouts.
Democracy in France. The views of anybody who criticizes the president are published in the media, but nobody pays any attention because his views are no different from those of other writers.
Democracy in Pakistan. The person whose views are different from that of the president zealously announces his views in public gathering. Thousands support him. A bomb then explodes and some people are killed. But the explosion has nothing to do with the criticism and is in fact a normal explosion in the country.
Democracy in Zimbabwe. An opposition personality speaks out against the government Mugabe. A few hours later, he is democratically swallowed by a lion.
Russian Democracy. A journalist opponent of Putin writes something against him in the newspapers. After a week, the writer who had gotten tired of Russian democracy completely accidentally but democratically throws himself off a ten story building and dies.
American Democracy. A journalist supporting Bush writes an article in the New York Times supporting him. His wife sues for divorce. The newspaper loses its readers after a hundred years and the journalist is lost from the world of journalism forever.
Iranian Democracy. A journalist writes an article against the nuclear policies of the president. The desk editor of the newspaper asks the writer to cut the piece by ten percent. When the article arrives at the desk of the chief editor, he too asks for another 10 percent cut. The article is then sent to the layout editor, who after reading the article cuts another 10 percent of the story. When the makeup editor of the paper gets the story, he cuts another 10 percent of the piece to protect his job. The next day when the newspaper is issued, the writer dissident picks up a copy and discovers that a story about the role of oil in the Middle East was published under his name. He tries hard, but fails to remember when he actually wrote the oil article.