Dude Is a Thief, Not Incompetent

The Moroccan butcher who lives in Paris was finally convinced. Three years ago, when I first talked to him, he was a diehard fan of Ahmadinejad.

He said, “Ahmadinejad is a very good man.”

I said, “No, he is a very bad man.”

He glanced at my suit and my Mercedes Benz ride and said, “He is a bad person because he opposes America?”

I said, “Ahmadinejad is not opposed to America, he keeps writing letters to Bush to meet with him.”

He said, “But he is opposed to Israel.”

I said, “He is not opposed to Israel either. No president in the Middle East has helped as much as Ahmadinejad to solidify the hardliners in Israel and the spread of Zionism.”

He said, “But he says good things.”

I said, “No, in Iran he doesn’t, he only says good things when he goes to the United States.”

He said, “Why are you opposed to Ahmadinejad?”

I said, “Because his supporters rape Muslim men and women and he himself is a thief.”

He said, “He is a thief, like he helps the rich get richer?”

I said, “No, he is personally a thief.”

He said, “What do you mean? He steals?”

I said, “I mean he takes his wife and kids and son-in-law and daughter-in-law and their families to America with people’s money and there they have fun with that money.”

He said, “No, that’s impossible.”

I said, “He has given all his relatives government posts with high salaries.”

He said, No, that’s impossible.”

I said, “He has appointed a billionaire as the interior minister in exchange for ten million dollars to use for his campaign, and then reappointed him to a different ministry.”

He said, “No, that’s impossible.”

I said, “He sends his son to a university that charges 20 thousand dollars per semester for tuition. His son’s family lives in free government housing paid for by the people.”

He said, “So why don’t you replace him?”

I said, “No, that’s impossible.”

He said, “Go outside and protest.”

I said, “They beat and kills us. That’s impossible.”

He said, “Write about it in your newspapers.”

I said, “It’s illegal. That’s impossible.”

He said, “So why did you elect him?”

I said, “We didn’t, he became president by force.”

He said, “No, that’s impossible.”

I said, “Look, Hassan, in our country, everything is possible.”

He said, “Ok, you are right, but he says good things about Israel.”