Frozen in Caracas

There are different ways to succeed. One way is to defeat an enemy, the other way is to hide the news of defeat, or faking victory and publishing “news” about it. In this regard, I recommend everyone read the news of former president Khatami’s first deputy, Mr. Abtahi, about the news blockade inside the country.

Mr. Nouri Al Maleki, who was the Prime Minister of Iraq until moments ago that I am aware of, said that he supported Mr. Bush’s new strategy for Iraq. Iranian media, however, write that Maleki gave a cool response to US President Bush’s new strategy for Iraq. Tomorrow, Keyhan will probably write that Maleki rejected President Bush’s new strategy, adding that it must leave Iraq. IN a few hours, Jomhurie Eslami newspaper will probably write: Bush has not right to give instructions to us.

Iranian media killed the Danish caricaturist a few hours ago and burnt his body and threw it next to his newspaper’s offices. Apparently, an Arabic publication with a circulation of two copies in a village in Abu Dhabi published this news, but Iranians really killed the journalist.

But most interestingly is the opposition of a large anti-war American group with the their government’s policies. Iranian newspapers wrote that an American anti-war group has said that “The US is against everything in Iran. The resolution against Iran is clearly contrary to the NPT.” The name of the group: American Iranian Friendship Committee, AFIC. This group comprises two Iranian families who have an American neighbor whose job is to translate Ahmadinejad’s letters. It was formed in 2004 and almost nobody in the US knows of this group. Here are some photographs of this anti-war group published on its own website.

Photo of the large anti-war group American Iranian Friendship Committee

Another news is that president Ahmadinejad was coolly received in Caracas. Keyhan wrote, “Unprecedented public welcome of Ahmadinejad in Caracas.” We eagerly await photographs of this grand welcome

I am still not sure whether Hashemi Rafsanjani did not attend a session of the State Expediency Council because he was down with a cold, or that he became ill because the expediency of the state required it. In any case, the Council met with the other Hashemi. In any case, I suspect that while Ahmadinejad is celebrating Chavez’ reaffirmation and Ortega’s rebirth in Caracas, Iran’s nuclear program will be wound up. For the moment, the weather forecast is that the pollution in Tehran will subside, there may be an earthquake, Tornado, cholera, smallpox or some other calamity in Latin America.

I think one of the nightmares that some of the leaders in Iran fear is that the danger facing the country will pass and, God forbidding, Iranian may return to normal life. And while Associated Press announces the suspension of uranium enrichment at Natanz. Mr. Falahatpishe, who was hitting his own head with his hands in frustration, while running in the streets in his pajamas said, NO, uranium enrichment has not stopped.”

Mahmoud Ghadam Kheir Ahmadinejad who left Tehran last night for Latin America, first arrived in Banjool in Gambia, and after being photographed with Gambian officials, left for Caracas. At the airport, Chavez did not come to welcome him as he was in the Venezuelan Parliament. His deputy however was there and welcomed the president of Iran who had postponed the national budget for a week in order to attend Chavez’ and Ortega’s ceremonies in Latin America. According to news reports, Chavez gave a cool welcome to Ahmadinejad who later went to Nicaragua. Furthermore, since Ahmadinejad lacks a real travel plan, his trip to Ecuador is almost cancelled.

It is not without reason that Fatemeh Are Aziz (known as Shamsi Pahlavan) gave Ahmadinejad miracle number one thousand and three. Economic news last week shoed that Ahmadinejad’s government may not have attained their goals in the areas of foreign policy, energy, culture, politics and executive affairs. The same may be true in the economic sphere. Let’s review the news.

The Development Budget is to Grow. Last year, Ahmadinejad had announced that 70 percent of the national budget is devoted to development. The next day, he announced that only 30 percent was for development affairs. A few hours later it became clear that only 14 percent of the budget was allocated for development issues. But he did promise that the following year, the size would grow to 20 percent. Today, however, the government announced that next year the size of the development budget would be the same as this years’.

The replacement of the Dollar with the Euro. Two months ago, the government announced that it would replace the Dollar with the Euro so as to drive out the Dollar as the international currency of choice and destroy the United States. Last week, the exchange rate of the Dollar rose in comparison to the Euro.

Increase in the price of oil. The government had predicted that should the UN Security Council pass a resolution against Iran, the price of oil would hit the 100 Dollar mark. Just one day after the resolution, the price of oil fell by 9 Dollars.

The forecast. Economic analysts have asked the government to do whatever it wishes: except make forecasts and predictions.

Ibrahim Nabavi is Iran’s best known satire writer.